Something borrowed. Something New

Robert Browning wrote:

Grow old along with me

The best is yet to be
The last of life, for which the first was made:

Our times are in his hand
Who saith, “A whole I planned,
Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!”

^{I am sure where to even start. So like any good story I will start with "Once upon a time...." Lived a happy girl who had long brown hair, big blue wondrous eyes, and the best childhood anyone could of asked for. Her feet were like leather because she lived outside and never wore shores. Her sun kissed checks were rosy all summer long. She would dance for hours, carelessly underneath the big open sky. She would think hard about how one day she would fly over the mountains that surrounded her tiny town. She was blessed with stability and the gift to be able to live in the same house her whole life with her parents and siblings. Oh how she had the best siblings. Her younger brother was not only her best friend, but her co-Creator of a world beyond imagine. When there minds were put together they could go anywhere, do anything, be who ever they fancied to be. One could even say these two young dreamers spend more time being Indians, or school teachers, than an eight and five year old. Life was not all play, however. She learned work. Caring for pigs taught her that. Oh how she pored her heart and soul into those little soft, wrinkly piglets that would squeal when hungry, then sleep on your lap when sleepy. Her thankfulness and love for those pigs could take up pages upon pages. In her mind she was royalty upon the animals and plants on her families ranch and farm. On late summer evenings when the sun was just barley staring its decent behind the mountains to retreat for the night our heroine would ride joyfully beside her father in his red, GMC pickup. The window rolled all the way down so she could hang her hand out and touch the adoring foliage as she drove by. The whole time the wind gently caressed her face and tousled her hair with its warm earthly touch. Everything seemed so right. Felt so right. The little girl knew and loved her place on earth. So many more memories could be portrayed. For the stories are endless. The memories are with out end.}

^{I am grown up now. This story is only beginning for me. As I told my dear friend what life was like growing up on a ranch and a farm in my podunk town i could not help but to long to go back, and be the ranch princess I was. Yet I now realize is I still am that girl. I am still Katie with my brown hair, big eyes, and wondrous personality. I still have my big browned eyed brother to call and share all my worries, concerns, dreams and wishes with. Nothing has changed. It certainly may feel different because my physical barrings are changed, yet I am still me. Even now I have big tears streaming down my face. The same tears that would fall as a child when I approached disappointments and loss.}

^{I believe in perfect timing. I know that God has an incredible knack for timing. I am so grateful for this. As I was having all my feelings of my childhood, my dear Syl wrote a beautiful blog post about the art of letting go. Here is the link. Read it. For she so eloquently puts into words how i feel.}

http://syliloquies.blogspot.com/2011/04/theres-picture-on-one-of-my-mantles-of.html

The art of letting go can apply into every aspect of our journey. I am learning to let go of an outcome I want so that it can develop and be what it needs to be. I recently went through an experience with someone who choose something far differnet than what I wanted. As the weeks have gone by i have been in so much pain, feeling betrayed. Now that i let go of their choice and let them live their own experience I can now feel joy instead of sadness. While i was praying over this same person a while ago I learned I am free when I give others their freedom. To echo Syl's words its not about holding someone/ ourself captive to how they were at one time. We all have the opportunity to evolve and grow. As much as i miss the past, I can have faith that the future holds something equally as grand as my past. And by living in the present I am sustained with the possibles for the future.

After reading Syl's post my friend who patiently sat and listened to me reminisce in the past gave me this talk by Elder Holland. How inspired. This is a great action talk for knowing how to bridge the past and the future. I am so grateful for my past, my present and the future I get to live.

http://lds.org/liahona/2010/01/the-best-is-yet-to-be?lang=eng&query=elder+holland+byu+devotional+2009

Awareness

I must say its been quite a while since the last time i poured out the most tender of my feelings on this wonderful blog of my mine. It's funny for I know no one reads it yet, it seems that just becuase it is on a blog then I must have an audience. Hmmm...what a fun thought. Going off of fun thoughts I have many to share. First of all, I am not the same girl who wrote on this last time. No. I am differenct. I mean I have grown. Of course I probably look the same on the exteior (despite the shorter more curler hair) the interior had some redecorationg. You see I am done with massage therapy school. Hold back your applause. I am so grateful to be done. I learned tons, yet had no idea how happy I would feel to not have to go back. School is always an interesting thing for me. In the moment, I for the most part really enjoy it. Yet, as soon as I am done I marval at how I ever did it. I know that in the moment God gives me the strength neseccary to accomplish what it is I need to do. This is a wonderful gift which provides me with much hope. After school was out I went home to for two weeks. Ahhh...what an amazing gift. While there I really had time to think about what I wanted to achieve when i got back to living my life. Now i am more determined than ever. I am going to to Thai Partner Yoga this summer. This seems a strong determined resolve to earn the money, which as a working girl i am going to do. Sorry I think i hit the wall with this post. It is not nearly as deep as I would of liked it to be.