Just the Beginning

Wow what an experience this teacher has been. As I finish up my last weekend of training, I am brought to ponder the journey I have begun. As I was sitting last night listening to Syl, I was overwhelmed with feelings of sadness and loss. I felt as if all I wanted to do was cry, and morn the loss of not having the awakening classes each month. As I sat with these feelings a voice said to me, “Katie, this is not the end but only the beginning.” After I heard these words I realized that they were right. I am now just starting my journey down this wonder path, of awakening, healing, and my new way of life. After each weekend session, I could feel a new part of me awake. However, I must say that weekend four has had a profound effect on me, and has propelled me to want more, more joy, love, happiness, health, power, freedom. All of which I know are obtainable. I have been watching Syl’s Manifesting series. Wow. There really is no more to say about them.

As I sat last night after realizing that the journey is just beginning I thought about all the events that have led up to me being able to do the teacher training. I remember the place I was at last December at this time. I will never forget, the feelings of despair I felt. Day after day, I tried to be happy when all around me was darkness, and despair. I was sick almost every holiday, and three day weekend. I could literally feel my spirit starving for something more, something better. My senior year which I though should have been one of the best times in my life was no less then a struggle everyday to fight for the truths I cherished. As I look back I realize that during this time of complete survival, I was being led and blessed beyond ways I could ever imagine. The march of my junior year I remember going to Syl’s website. I do not know why I was led to go there, but I was. I sat for hours reading about all they trainings she offered. When I saw the Thai Partner Yoga, I felt something inside of me do a little jump like YES, this is what I want to do, even though I knew little about it.. Then I saw the yoga teacher training. Somehow I just knew that I even though I eventually wanted to become to be trained as a TPY, I needed to take this training to become a yoga instructor. I did not know how I would do it but, I knew that I would. Months went, and my senior year started. As I started planning where I wanted to go to school, the YTT was on my mind. I remember making a vision board, and putting the Bodhi Yoga logo on it.

During my senior year I was ASB president, a member of the band, on the honor roll, and held down a job. But I was not happy. Yes I enjoyed the many events that being a senior had to offer, but it felt so meaningless. As the months wore on I forgot about my desire to do yoga., until that January. I remember waking one Saturday morning, and like always going into my mom’s room to talk to her. We were talking and I started to cry. I expressed to her how stuck I felt. As I was explaining this to her, I realized I had had a dream that night. This is the dream: The dream started out with me in the band room at Lakeview High School. I was wearing black leggings and a black shirt. Over this I had my big pink robe that does not flatter my body what so ever. I was arguing with someone about how I knew I could fly, but they would not believe me. I was getting so upset. I just so wanted people to see what I was capable of. Then my dream turned to a nature scene. I was crying when a woman came to me and had me change into more flattering cloths. Then she walked be to the most amazing weeping willow tree. I walked over to the tree and just hugged the rough bark, as the braches that fell down wrapped around me. I started crying even harder for I finally felt safe.

As I was talking to my mom about it I told her I felt like the women in the women in my dream was Syl Carson, and the weeping willow was my Savior, and that Syl would help lead me to him and his healing. I felt so strong about doing the Yoga Certification program that she teaches. My mom trusted my inspiriting about the whole situation, but was not sure how any of it would work out, she wanted me to be wise with my money, and do schooling that would provide me with an income. Despite, her realism, I never gave up hope on being able to do the teacher training,

I had almost three thousand dollars saved. That March I went back to Syl’s site to see how much money it would be to do the training. To my amazement and delight it was almost the exact amount that I had saved up. Plus I was to get a job that summer. Within the next couple of months, I had it all planned to go to massage school in Salt Lake, and travel to Provo to do the trainings.

As I look back on the how I was lead to do the teaching training I am amazed. I had several other dreams confirming my inspiration on taking the training. As I finish up I am once again reminded that this is just the beginning. I know I am being led to the life that I desire to live. Words cannot even describe the thankfulness I feel for the ability to me able to be apart of the Bodhi yoga teacher training. It has changed all aspects of my life in ways that I cannot even describe. It is more than just training about yoga postures, it is a life altering experience that has allowed me to see my own potential. It has nursed my starving spirit back to health. I feel like when I entered the program I was a in a cocoon, being nourished and protected, now I am a beautiful butterfly getting ready to spread her wings and sore.

Getting to know Syl, and seeing her life transform has been an unforgettable experience. Her story has brought me much hope that I can to be alive again. I love Syl and the truth she shares. She has opened herself up for all to see, and I am so grateful for the sacrifices she has made to do this. I will cherish the times I had with my fellow Yoga teacher training trainings, and the experiences we had together.

For any of you out there who are feeling hope, despair, and a true loss, I know where you have been, and I promise you that there is healing for you. I now have a light burning inside of being. I am now soaring with the many possibilities. My todays and tomorrows are bright, and so can yours. Namaste.

Chanting

I would love to have the ability to chant. When I chant a I feel a part of me that is so deep and that has been dormant. I no longer want that person to remain asleep. I want them to arise and join me. Ever since learning how to chant, I crave it in my daily routine. I have Syl's chanting c.d that I chant along with. One particular chant that I do everyday is the Mata Kali chant. it goes like this

"OM MATA KALI, KALI DRUGA MA"

"SRI MA, SRI MA, SRI MA, SIR"

It means:

"Oh Mother Kali, Kali Protective Mother

Beautiful Prosperous, Graceful Mother,

The power of Desire"

This chant means so much to me. When I hear it I feel a powerful energy come up from the earth, move up my feet and circulate my entire body. It is so grounding and comforting. http://gobodhiyoga.com

Weekend Four

What an exceptional weekend I had. My spirit was truly fed. So many things are going on through my head this morning. Now that I have this knowledge I feel like I need to do something with it. I want to know more. I feel like the information that Syl gives me is just the tip of the iceberg. However, I am afraid to go to other places to learn because she teaches with such a sacred spirit, and is able to incorporate and talk about how the church ties into the path of a yogi. I would just love to take the Thai Partner yoga training. My soul just cries out at the thought of knowing such information. I was really struck while on the website when it said, “depending on how dedicated you are in making your gift known to others” I feel as if I have untapped gifts waiting to blossom and be known. For what ever reason I felt so strong in doing the teacher training, and the very first time I went onto Syl’s website I had this feeling that I wanted to become a Thai Partner Therapist. I feel like I could not only make a living off of this, but I would save my body all the extra work of trying to give a traditional Swedish massage. I have not yet figured out how to make that a spiritual and rewarding practice, because right now my client is getting benefits yet I am left exhausted and sore. I know I just began and that I have a long way to go, but my light is dieing out fast. I know that being a LMT is a great tool to have and that I am not by any means wasting neither time nor money by doing it. I was really struck by the conversation we had about Karma and Dharma, Such an interesting and profound idea, also the idea of intention and manifesting. . I come up with so many ideas, and I play situations out in my head hoping that they will come true, however if the power of creation is like unto a spiral, then the power that is in my life is truly limitless. An image keeps coming into my mind of a circle of light trying to move outward but a it is stuck inside a wood box. The wood box is keeping the spiral trapped, however at any moment the box could shatter. If the box were to shatter then the spiral would be freed. I want the box to collapse, but I am afraid at what might happen if it does. The idea of controlling our life and just living with what happens is an idea I have lived with for so long. I would not even know what to expect. When I hear the chant of mata Kalli I feel this warmth and sacred power flow through me. My Heavenly Mother. I am ready for a different way to live. I am ready to co-create a life of joy and happiness right now. I do not know a lot about this but I have the faith to make the leap. If my savior is with me then I know all things are possible and that I need not fear. I do have a worry of Failing, or not “doing” something correctly. Having the tip of information that I do, I feel like I know just enough to start the change, yet not enough to manifest and keep it going. I pray that I may be lead to know what to do how to do it. I am bringing in now that I can learn through the good times. Good things do happen to people. I am open to and receiving what thou has in store. I am letting in faith, hope, and joy as I take the leap in letting the manifest process happen. http://www.gobodhiyoga.com

Teaching my first Yoga Class

This evening I thought my first yoga class. It was 35 minuets and included hands on adjustments. I thought my two roommates and a friend of ours. I had a hard time feeling confident, because the group I was teaching were not very serious about yoga. I enjoyed using hands on adjustments, I think it adds a great benefit to a class, and in helping people know how its feels to be in a posture. I know I just need to practice teaching more and not to be afraid to share what I know. I tend to have high expectations on myself and when they are not met I get disappointed. I am determined not to let this experience get me down about my ability to teach. I love yoga so much. I just wish I knew how to articulate how I feel about it others, but I guess if others do not care then it does not matter how much one tries. This was a good experience for me to have. It helped me to realize that no matter what I still love yoga and will continue to practice it despite others ignorance about it.

Ayurveda

I am so intrigued with Ayurveda, which means "science of life" in Sanskrit. Ayurveda is the madictonal medicine from India. The more I read and study Ayurvedic philosophy the more I am blown away by the power and truth that it holds. There is a part of me that would love to get training in this modality so that I could become an Ayurvedic doctor. I am done with massage therapy in March. After that time I have no idea what I am going to do. However I trust that when that date arrives I will have a better understanding. I am keeping all my options open. If I still feel as strong about Ayurveda as I do today then I am most definitely going to consider going into that field of medicine. What I like about it so much is that it treats people as individuals. The idea that each person leads with a specific Dosha, therefore have certain tendency in their bodies, is inspiring. We are all not the same therefore will handle different foods differently. It is also so sacred. For me Ayurveda brings together the best of what I already love: massage, oils, and yoga. I just pray that if I am meant to learn more the opportunity will present itself.
http://gobodhiyoga.com

"The Lightest Touch"

In my last teacher trainer session we were given a poem. This poem is called "The Lightest Touch" from Everything is Waiting for You by David Whyte. When i first read this poem I felt a deep sacredness about it. I do not fully understand all that it means, but I still enjoy the spirit behind it. I know it has to do with hands on adjusting during a yoga practice. I feel that touch is very powerful and needs to be done with respect. This poem for me emphasises that power. Here it is:

Good Poetry begins with

the lightest touch

a breezed arriving from nowhere

a whispered healing arrival

a word in your ear

a settling into things

then, like a hand in the dark it

arrest the whole body

stealing you for revelation

In the Silence that follows a great line

you can feel Lazarus

deep inside

even the laziest, most deathly afraid

part of you,

lift up his hands and walk to the light.

http://gobodhiyoga.com/

Lines of Energy

In "Yoga as Self-Transformation" Joel Kramer talks about Lines of Energy. At this last teacher training I was able to feel what he was talking about. We were discussing a variety of postures and charting where the line of energy moves within each pose. I decided to focus on these energy lines, and adjust my body accordingly in order to get into them. Not only did focusing on these lines help me more accurately reach a pose, but I was able to go deeper in. I did not feel as much discomfort. I felt more at balance, because the energy lines were opposing each other and making me more stable. I feel the knowledge of how the energy works within each pose is so so helpful in deepening my practice. http://www.gobodhiyoga.com